I remembered when I was 12 or 13 years old, we'll go drive to Lenox Square and see the fireworks. The fireworks would sound off duirng 9 P.M., and we'll wait in the back of back packing lot of the mall. We'll sit on the ground and see plenty of booths. We'll also see plenty of people laying on the ground or sitting on folding chairs. We'll wiat for the fireworks. And when it came down, ti was magneficent. I'd admit that I was a bit scared when I first saw them up close with my eyes. I thoguht that they are going to fall down from the sky and hit me. The sky was bursting with multiple colors and it illuminated the entire sky. People's faces changed and their heads craned up to see the delightful sights.

I wasn't aware that we could see fireworks outside of our apartment at Lindbergh. Mother would walk outside. She'll open the door that was closest to the kitchen. She'll step back onto the little ledge. We craned our heads to the left. WE could see the fireworks.  We could even hear the fireworks. They sounded little crackling sounds. That was when I saw Manuel Hernandez right next to me. I thought that I'll enver saw him again. He got a bit chubbier and he never knew who I am. I wanted to say "hi" to him. All I thought was, I haven't seen you in a long time.

I'm ashamed of being Chinese. I'm not proud of my heritage anymore. I want to abandon my own culture. I don't speak Chinese. I don't embrace Chinese religions. I don't have any Chinese friends. I don't read Chinese literature or listen to Chinese music. I only eat Chinese food. That's the only Chinese thing that I do. I eat the food. I don't even like the Chinese traditional values. I don't like their uptight rules. I know nothing about Chinese history. I know nothing about Chinese TV dramas or movies. I don't know any actors or actresses. I don't know any singers. The only Asian music that I have listened to is The Wonder Girls, which is a Korean pop group.

I got out of the hosue today, which is good. I enver realized how much beauty nature have to offer. It's as if I'm living in a imaginary world when I feast my eyes upon nature.

• Saturday, July 4, 2009 •